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Source files | Parameters | Examples | List of available quotes

DAILYQUOTE

The DAILYQUOTE script generates XHTML code for displaying quotes handpicked from the literature, films, newspapers or other sources. The DAILYQUOTE script forms the server-side engine for the automatic generation of daily quotes found at the entry page of jonsson.eu (or in the side column of the page that you currently are reading).

Current revision

Revision 1.22, as of 25/12/2009. Copyright © Fredrik Jonsson 2006-2009, under GPL

Source files

dailyquote.php [20 kB] The entire PHP code for the DAILYQUOTE script, containing all necessary routines in one single file. The user-end interface to the DAILYQUOTE script is the function dailyquote($lang,$mode), as listed at the very end of dailyquote.php.
[ download | view source ]

Parameters

In the dailyquote($lang,$mode) function, the significance of the input arguments are as follows.

$lang

Determines the language to use for headers in generation of the quote(s). Accepted values are "en" (for English) or "sv" (for Swedish).

$mode

A string determining the mode of operation when generating the quote(s). Accepted values are "single" (to generate a single quote, determined either by the number of the day or as a randomly chosen one) or "all" (to generate a list displaying the complete set of available quotes).

Example of usage

In order to invoke DAILYQUOTE for the generation of one single quote, picked from the available ones as defined in the script, simply add the following PHP block to an (X)HTML-generating PHP page:

    <?php include "dailyquote.php"; dailyquote("en","single"); ?>

Here, the "en" (for English) may be replaced by "sv" (for Swedish). If, on the other hand, a complete list of all available quotes is to be generated, then instead use $mode="all", that is to say, use the following PHP block:

    <?php include "dailyquote.php"; dailyquote("en","all"); ?>

The latter way is exactly what was used in the next section when generating the complete list of available quotes.

List of all quotes available via DAILYQUOTE (so far)

Quote number 1

"Det är bara att bryta ihop och gå vidare."
 – Torgny Mogren, Swedish cross-country skier (Four World Championship gold medals 1987-93 and an Olympic gold medal 1988)

Quote number 2

"The work of science is to substitute facts for appearances, and demonstrations for impressions."
 – John Ruskin, The stones of Venice (1853).

Quote number 3

"Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa."
 – Bart Simpson.

Quote number 4

"Science is knowledge that we understand so well that we can teach it to a computer; and if we don't fully understand something, it is an art to deal with."
 – Donald E. Knuth, Computer Programming as an Art (A. M. Turing Award Lecture, 1974).

Quote number 5

"To my mind, the book is better than ever. May each reader benefit and enjoy!"
 – J.D. Jackson, in his own modest preface to the second edition of his Classical Electrodynamics (Wiley, 1974).

Quote number 6

"At your fingertips you have a tool that was unavailable to Archimedes, Galileo, or Einstein. The only limits to the flexibility of the HP-25 are the limits of your own mind."
 – Hewlett-Packard 25 Handbook (1975)

Quote number 7

"Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools."
 – 1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary rocket work.

"Correction: It is now definitely established that a rocket can function in a vaccuum. The Times regrets the error."
 – New York Times, July 1969.

Quote number 8

"I'm Winston Wolfe. I solve problems."
 – Pulp Fiction (Quentin Tarantino, 1994)

Quote number 9

"But the science is always there,
I'd be a true sucker
if I acted like I didn't care."

 – Ice-T (Original Gangster, Sire Records, 1991)

Quote number 10

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
 – Homer Simpson

Quote number 11

"/* vsprintf.c -- Lars Wirzenius & Linus Torvalds. */
/* Wirzenius wrote this portably, Torvalds fucked it up :-) */
"

 – Extract from the C-code of the historic first-ever release of the Linux kernel (Linus Torvalds, funic.funet.fi, August 1991)

Quote number 12

"Oh Lisa, there's no such thing as vampires. They're make-believe, like fairies, goblins and Eskimos."
 – Homer Simpson

Quote number 13

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
 – Pulp Fiction, Ezekiel 25:17 (Quentin Tarantino, 1994)

Quote number 14

"If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable."
 – Seneca (5 BC-65 AD), Roman dramatist, philosopher and politician

Quote number 15

"Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise."
 – Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

Quote number 16

"So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence."
 – Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

Quote number 17

"Completely sugar free."
 – The British toothpaste "Milk teeth fluoride plus", manufactured by GlaxoSmithKline (2007)

Quote number 18

"Här ligger en gravad hund."
 – Refaat El-Sayed

Quote number 19

"Om man har lite skulder är det som en kulle, men om man har mycket skulder blir det som ett berg där man kan gå upp och titta lite på utsikten."
 – Refaat El-Sayed

Quote number 20

"That which is not measurable is not science. That which is not Physics is stamp collecting."
 – Ernest Rutherford (1871-1937)

Quote number 21

"Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine."
 – Sir Arthur Eddington (1882-1944)

Quote number 22

"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them."
 – Isaac Asimov (1920-1992)

Quote number 23

"There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home."
 – Ken Olsen (1926-), President, Digital Equipment, 1977

Quote number 24

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
 – Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)

Quote number 25

"Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons."
 – Unknown, Popular Mechanics, March 1949

Quote number 26

"I'm still an atheist, thank God."
 – Luis Buñuel (1900-1983)

Quote number 27

"We don't have the money, so we have to think."
 – Sir Arthur Eddington (1882-1944)

Quote number 28

"Eh? Some don't want take it personal? Unu talk bout don, you think me come fi don."
 – Cutty_Ranks (Limb by Limb, Suburban Base Records, 1995)

Quote number 29

"Don't panic."
 – Douglas Adams (1952-2001), The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

Quote number 30

"Där ser du: din vetenskap och teknik, vad är det jämfört med magi och trolldom?"
 – Skrot-Nisse och hans vänner (Jan Lööf, Sveriges Television, 1985)

Quote number 31

"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong."
 – Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

Quote number 32

"Ät dina fiskpinnar. I morron är du rökt."
 – Super Mario Långben (Simonize and Woodgrove, 2007)

Quote number 33

"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."
 – The first words spoken on the moon (Neil Armstrong, July 21, 1969)

"Let's get this motherfucker out of here!"
 – The last words spoken on the moon (Eugene Cernan, December 14, 1972)

Quote number 34

"Well there's diamonds on my windshield and these tears from heaven well i'm pulling into town on the interstate i got a steel train in the rain and the wind bites my cheek through the wing and it's these late nights and this freeway flying that always makes me sing, it always makes me sing."
 – Tom Waits (Asylum Years, Warner Records, 1986)

Quote number 35

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler."
 – Albert Einstein

Quote number 36

"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes."
 – Douglas Adams (1952-2001), Life, the Universe and Everything

Quote number 37

"Premature optimization is the root of all evil."
 – Donald E. Knuth.

Quote number 38

"Dwee, dah dah shrah, plah plah sah, dah dah rah, plav da shree, loh ku pah, dav du sah! Soo-da-li dwee-daht, soo-da-li doo-ton plah-blah."
 – William Shooby Taylor (1929-2003), Stout-hearted men.

Quote number 39

"Think outside the box, collapse the box, and take a fucking sharp knife to it."
 – Banksy

Quote number 40

"I am so smart, S-M-R-T!"
 – Homer Simpson, in Homer Goes to College

Quote number 41

"Pojkar vill, killar kan!"
 – Brandchef Greger Hawkwind, NileCity 105,6.

Quote number 42

"$665.95 - Retail price of the Beast"
 – Joke at 1740 Internet sites, as of March 2009.

Quote number 43

"Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny"
 – Frank Zappa

Quote number 44

"No-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions; he had money as well."
 –  Margaret Thatcher

Quote number 45

"Jag ger fullständigt fan i vad folk tycker, bara de tycker någonting."
 – Siri Derkert

Quote number 46

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
 – Arthur C. Clarke

Quote number 47

"Ett väl utfört arbete ger en inre tillfredställelse och är den grund på vilket samhället vilar."
 – Karl-Bertil Jonsson

Quote number 48

"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."
 – Seneca (5 BC-65 AD), Roman dramatist, philosopher and politician

Quote number 49

"Parity is for farmers."
 – Seymour Cray (1925-1996), Supercomputer architect and founder of Cray Research, on cyclic redundancy checks.

Quote number 50

"Comfort diminishes activity; lack of activity leads to lack of stimulation, without stimulation you become bored, fat and tired. You get energetic only by using energy, not by resting"
 – Sven Yrvind, small-boat world circumnavigator and 1980 Royal Cruising Club medalist for seamanship.

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Last modified Tuesday 28 Dec 2010